fundudes: Celebrities

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

UGO's Top 10 Sexiest Women

10. Christina Aguilera - Wow. Really? Isn't she, like, kinda gross?

9. Malin Akerman - Hello! Who are you? Cool name, too - "Malin Akerman" sounds like the name of a James Bond villain.

8. Angelina Jolie - We're not surprised she made the list, nor are we not surprised she wasn't ranked higher - running around the world adopting kids instead of acting all insane like she used to do diminishes your sexiness.

7. Olivia Wilde - New blood. Striking! Kind of cat-like. Christopher Nolan, take note when you get around to putting Selina Kyle in one of your Batman movies.

6. Sienna Miller - Sienna's almost as much a head-scratcher as Paris Hilton. Why the hell is she famous? Because she sleeps with (and breaks up with) famous guys and is often photographed naked? I guess we just answered our own question.

5. Katharine McPhee - Sure. Why not?

4. Eva Longoria - 10 bucks says if Desperate Housewives wasn't such a popular show, Eva wouldn't even be in the top 100. 10 bucks. Any takers?

3. Jessica Alba - Predictable. Do you have a great acting gig in you, Jessica, or are you just going to coast by on your tricks like pouting and smiling?

2. Scarlett Johansson - WHY?! Yes, she has a giant rack, but she's so goddamn boring! Rage.

1. Jessica Biel - Huh. Really. Well, in some ways, Jessica is the most man-like of the Top 10 - she looks like she goes to the gym about eight times a day. And we assume the majority of participants that took this poll were men, so... maybe there's a comforting familiarity there.